His Beauty

Psalm 96: 1-4 "Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise His name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marevelous deeds among all peoples. For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; he is to be feared above all gods."

Looking out my window today, I see the sun brightly shining radiating off of the white snow that covers the earth. The trees each stand so mighty and majestic, as they reach for the sky created even to praise His name. How much greater is my song, is my voice to praise the one who made every beautiful thing so we each may enjoy His beauties.

Everytime I see that beautiful sunset signifying another day spent away, everything within me smiles at such creativity. No picture can truly capture everything the original artist created. There really are no words to describe its splendor.

His beauty is in comparable. When my heart becomes unthankful or worrying about things I can't control, I look to the skies. If I just take a step outside, I realize how small I am when I become lost in that huge sky containing billions of galaxies. Its at that moment when I become humbled by His love for me. From where He sits, the earth is not even a speck of dust. And yet He loves me. Oh how great is His love for me! I sometimes can't contain it.

To live my life so others may see His beauty is what I am designed to do. His greatest beauty is His heart of love full of compassion, empathy, and forgiveness. To show everyone around me His marvelous heart is the greatest accomplishment. I can't even grasp though the greatness of His love or beauty. There is no way for my human mind to comprehend it. But He made me to love Him and others, so I know my love is enough to show people the face of my Lord!

Trust

“To put one's trust in God is only a longer way of saying that one will chance it”

My biggest challenge right now is to trust in God wholeheartedly, mainly when things look really gloom. And by trust I mean not allowing worry to infiltrate my mind. I am so easily persuaded into a bad attitude when things don't go my way and I get irritated, so irritated. I try to reason it out, try to come up with anything to put my mind at peace but nothing works besides just worshipping God and reading His word, just to get my mind off of it.

He is so patient with me as He calmingly speaks to my heart. How I wish I could be perfect? I wish I could be more patient, more trusting, more loving towards others. I become so hard on myself even though I know God is slowly changing my heart to make it more like His. I feel it through out the depths of me, but I just wish He would change me like overnight. This is where trusting Him takes place, knowing He and I together are working to make my broken heart into something beautiful and my once unkind words, to words of life. Its just one of those things that takes your whole life.

So I sometimes doubt my own trust in Him, He never doubts my trust in Him for He is always looking at my heart and knows my intentions. To learn His mighty love and patience and be able to radiate His forgiveness and kindness, is what I live to do.

Psalm 118: 6-9 "The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is on my side as my helper; I shall look on triumph on those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes."

To Be Still

Do you ever struggle with never having enough time in the day? Always trying to get so much done is so little time. It seems we have lists of things to do that pile up everyday and we begin to shut the Lord out. I know in my life that every time I have gotten really busy in the past with either relationships or work, Jesus was the first to go. How much my priorities have changed in such a short amount of time.

In my life now, I still have so many things to do and goals and accomplishments I have to achieve. I have my New Year's resolutions hanging over my head, as I have never been so motivated to want to accomplish every single one. As I was sitting there last night making my schedule, as it seems my life is picking up the pace quickly Jesus gently told me "Will you have room for me?" Oh what sweet words those were though. Someone who wants to just spend time with me to get to know me and love me. I mean thats all we want right. At first I kind of began to argue with oh but Lord I am going to Bible college and church and getting involved with Bible studies and wanting to start helping out with the youth. And if that isn't enough I am volunteering my time at a christian pregnancy center to tell others about you. And on top of all that, I am finding time for some other fun activities and things I want to do. Yes my list of things is much longer than most as I try to cram so much living into my life. He gently asked me again "Will you have room for me?"

I get so caught up in wanting to get so many things done and wanting to change the world around me, I spaced out making alone time just for God. Right now I wake up and before I am out of bed I read a Bible verse, during the day I read inspiring books Christian people have written about achieving a great relationship with God, and I go to bed with my nightly devotional and prayer time. I would say my life is based around the Lord. And because of this I feel so blessed, my outlook on life is better, I have more compassion and I see through the Lord's eyes. But I know if I can't just be still than my relationship with the Lord will slide and if it goes than the rest of my life will go down the tube. Just like I make time in my schedule for a dear friend, I need to make that time for Jesus everyday cause He is my best friend. 

Psalm 37:7 "Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him."

Our Walk

Psalm 37: 4,7 "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him."

Today I sat upon His lap and listened to Him laugh as I was telling Him my plans. He took my hand and walked with me. He showed me places I had never been before. As we walked He graced me with stories of all kinds, some were painful to hear and brought tears to my eyes and others made me laugh until my heart was full of joy. On this journey of ours, I saw many familiar things and felt old feelings. I could tell I still had some open wounds and had yet to forgive people for their past grievances on me and worse things I hadn't forgiven myself for. He could see my heart and hear my thoughts along the way. He paused for a moment and loving took my face in His hands and all He whispered was "I love you". There were so many other things He could have said at that time, but He just spoke those three healing words. And it wasn't just that passing I love you that has no depth to it, it was a real genuine love that makes you swell with tears.

I knew what He was showing me, my past, the journey I tried to make it through alone. He taught me on our little walk so many things starting with today. I can't change my past or the hurt I caused or the painful damage I have done, but I can start with a new journey that I will be proud to look upon. Some people will never see me in the new light, for I have sinned against them and they hold it against me, but it won't affect the people I can change today in a positive way. Thats the difference between dark and light. Just like I walked hand-in-hand with Him on our walk, I also walk beside Him in life. Now when I look back I will see two people instead of one and only will I see love. 

As our walk ended He took me back to where we began, it was just Him and I, no one else. And I wandered how could He spend so much time with me, doesn't He have a world to keep in tact But no He just laid there right beside me and than told me all of His plans for my life if I just continue to hold His hand. They were far better than any dream I could dream and all I had to do was love Him back. My love for Him doesn't compare to His love for me. When I spend time with Him He doesn't feel safe like I do in His arms, He doesn't feel half the things He makes me feel and yet He wants to spend time with me? It makes me realize that all He wants is the love I can give Him no matter how great or how small its adequate for Him. He just wants my time, effort, and initiative. He doesn't expect any great thing from me for I don't deserve to be near even His feet, He just expects me to listen to His heart and to live the life He has set for me as His child.

Psalm 139 "O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all of my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in- behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your spirit; where can I flee from your presence? If I go upto the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for the darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in that special place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me our your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, your bloodthirsty men! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord, and abhor those who rise up against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

One Month to Live

This week I am reading a inspiring book by Kerry and Chris Shook, who founded Fellowship of the Woodlands in Houston, Texas. This book has deeply inspired me to think not only about my future, but also every choice I make today. I honestly don't worry about not having a long life for God has called me to so much with my life so I know time is on my side, but its what I do with that time that matters most. You can live a hundred years and still accomplish nothing or but a few months and accomplish more than many others.

In this particular chapter though I learned what it meant to fully trust the Lord and I don't mean just with my words saying "I trust you", but with my actions as well. I know how hard it can be to give Him control of our situations, mostly cause you want them done your way, but in the end God has a much higher way of thinking than any one of us.

Isaiah 55: 8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

You hold on desperately, trying to do things in your own strength. You struggle endlessly, trying to control everything, trying to make everything just right, trying to please people, trying to control every situation. You hold on and think there is no one to catch you so you'd better grip harder and cling tighter. While you're hanging there and your knuckles are turning white, I'm saying "Just let go , and I'll catch you. Just let go. I promise you, I love you, and I'll catch you. I made you with my own hands. I made you for a purpose, and I died to have you back. Why can't you trust me? I gave my life for you. I'm the God of the universe. You can just let go and I will catch you."

For me this can't be more true. How many times have I been like God I can do it on my own watch me. And sometimes He does allow me to do it on my own and other times I fall and fail so miserably. If I would do it His way every time, not only would I not fall I would probably be able to fly. Even in the toughest of situations where everyone is counting on you to fail, He's the one there begging you to just trust Him.

I look at life day by day and everyday we get new tests. Everyday He has situations that He brings to us to see if we will pass the test. Everyday, every minute there are choices to be made. When we pass the test He moves us on to bigger things, if we don't we are stuck retaking the test sometimes once, sometimes over and over again. 

You remember those old bracelets that said WWJD or What Would Jesus Do? When I was younger it was a fad so I bought a few just to fit in with the rest of my friends. This bracelet had no significance to me it just made me look like I belonged. Now when I make choices or before words come out of my mouth mostly during fights where I am angry, I have to stop myself and be like so its ok to be angry but I don't want to say something I will later regret. So its more about watching my words than anything, you still can get your point across but you don't want to tear down the person you are saying them to. So thats when WWJD comes into play. Will Jesus be proud of me what I am saying or will He be disappointed in me? When you start making Him the basis of your decisions and ask Him for strength, I feel everything goes so much more smoothly and you don't look back and hit yourself in the head for saying something stupid.

Yeah there are probably alot of words you wanted to say that would be hurtful cause you are hurt, but when you give the control over to God you are able to begin to see under the surface. Many times when people say hurtful words its cause they are hurt and probably not even because of something you did, but they need someone to vent to. When we start giving God control and looking through His eyes, we see the heart of the matter and are filled with compassion instead of anger. Its all about trusting God in the easy things and hard things, big or little things. He will NEVER let you down.

Psalm 13: 5 "But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice cause you have rescued me."