"I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, [and] established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, [even] praise unto our God: many shall see [it], and fear, and shall trust in the LORD."
As I was reading this yesterday, it gave me this huge sense of peace. No matter where I am in life on top of a mountain or struggling to climb out of the valley I have dug underneath my feet, He is such a good faithful God and will always come to my aid. He is such a good loving God. I have just been realizing how great His love for each one of us really is. He just has this perfect love no matter what you do or don't do He will love you and be there for you.
I was laying in bed last night just spending time in His presence and I tried to conceive how great His love really is for me, that He would die for me and be brought back to life just so He can have a relationship with me. If anyone I know would actually die just so I would spend time with them, how would I ever be able to say no to them? I couldn't. His love is just so pure and everyday I know more about Him the more time I want to spend with Him.
This psalm speaks to me in such a deep way. Two months ago, I found myself so alone. I didn't know where to turn and there He met me. These past two months have been so wonderful. He is my best friend and my obsession. If you know anything about me, you know how much of a role God now plays in my life. I live to tell others about his goodness to me. He saved me from the darkness and led me straight into the light. He is so healing and so gracious. He has taught me how to forgive and how to be above what the world has to offer. I have indulged in my fair share of bad decisions, but they have taught me so much and each decision led me to My Father.
I know things won't always go my way, but I have found a relationship that is so secure I never have to worry that tomorrow He will decide to leave me. Its the only relationship I am allowed to make horrible mistakes and yet He doesn't judge me, but insteads teachs me to be a better person through it. I still mess up all of the time, I often find myself wanting to go back to my old ways cause sometimes they seem so fulfilling and everyday I face those choices. Often times I now find myself only doing the right thing cause I want to be pure in the eyes of the Lord and thats it, no further reason. I know I can't hide from the Lord anymore and I want to be blessed and I know when I make bad choices I will pay the consequences for them and at this point I would risk so much I am not willing to. He has brought healing to every one of my relationships, He has given me a heart of compassion and I feel like have a huge purpose now, TO CHANGE THE WORLD! What can get bigger than that?